drip drip drop little april showers

Anyone recognize that song from Bambi? Well.. I do, and I could sing you the entire song if you'd like. Never mind, I retract that offer.

This week has been beautiful. Perfectly warm with a cool breeze, some times it's sunny, some times it's rainy and perfectly grey and calm. I love rain clouds.. let me hear ya say "yea!"

"YEA!"

little slice of heaven

Why do I love chocolate so much? I don't know why so many do, but it's crazy. Mine and Mark's cravings are usually so different; I say sometimes that we switched food roles; I crave salty, he craves sweet. Normally it's the man who is at the ball game with a hot dog and the girl with a candy box and a soda. But when I do crave sweet, it's typically chocolate.

About once a year I will splurge on the "All-American Chocolate Cake" from this place. It is the yummiest,  richest, but yet, oh so perfect. Sometimes rich can be too much; but this cake has the yummy part down. Just like their pecan pies; the best ever!

I dare you to try it. I triple dog dare you!

midnight madness

Last night Mont was having another toss-and-turn sort of night. We decided to just get him out of bed at 10:00 because we just wanted to play with him; it was still light then. Around 11, when it was good and dark, and while we were tickling him and laughing with him, I had the thought, "what would we be doing if it were just Mark and I?" .. We'd probably be out driving around looking for bears!!!

So that's what we did (but this time, we took our new little adventurer with us). It was unsuccessful, but a lot of fun. Mont was jabbering the whole time in the back seat; probably trying to convince the bears to get their pictures taken.

Two days ago my neighbor a few houses down was cleaning her back porch windows when she saw two big grizzlies just right on the river! She has a better view of the river than we do from her house. She told me this when I was just beginning to walk, and it was only 2 hours after she saw them, but I couldn't find them... I was both relieved and disappointed. I still haven't seen a grizzly in the wild. Don't you worry about me, either. I had Buckwheat.

...and one big can of bear spray.

...off to Neverland!

At our Relief Society's service auction this past March, my friend Marlana bid and won my 10x10 canvas offer. She said her daughter wanted "Tinkerbell." I decided to do old school Peter Pan's Tinkerbell, from the same movie I did my last two canvases.

I'm not so sure I'll do "people" again unless it's on a similar background. What I did for this, was I looked at the opening credits of Disney's Peter Pan, and did one of the background stills. For the Tinkerbell, I used the shot of Tinkerbell flying away from Peter as he was about to grab her in order to sprinkle Wendy, John and Michael. The colors and design of the two different pictures were so different, but I didn't realize until I had combined the two... so the Tinkerbell looks too cartoon-y for this background!!! It was frustrating for me to realize this after I put the background around her.

Though I don't love it as much as I had hoped, I do like the details still. Let me indulge:

"2nd star to the right and straight on till morning": 

Over London (you can see the sparkly pixie dust):

Close-up of 'Tink (her medium - 

chalk, then acrylic, then more chalk 

- I couldn't get it right!):

I like her shoes.. big white pom-poms and a little bit of green:

And like the other ones, I did the sides of the canvas in case she didn't want to frame it: 

And that is numero tres!!

bear bait

Baiting bears is illegal here in the wild north. So I think my neighbors should be fined - ha ha! Seriously though! They leave this poor little fluffy thing tied up outside (with the garage door open) all day (if it's not snowing or raining). The reasons I have to be concerned are as following:

1. bears
2. barking
3. more bears!

These new renters are not military, so I'm not sure how much they have been briefed on bear safety. Maybe they have been briefed, and just didn't take it seriously? Maybe someone needs to either tell them in person, or send them an anonymous letter informing them of the unavoidable bears in the neighborhood + a brochure on bear safety. I'd be happy to be that letter-writer... : )

In my professed letter I will tell them about my run-ins, mentioned here, here, here and here.

SERIOUSLY... I'd rather not come home and find something awfully sad on your driveway, or you to walk out into your garage only to find a bear stuck inside like my bishop has done. Bathe your dog, and take it inside like the rest of your neighborhood... there's a reason there are no other out-door dogs here!

Kindly and affectionately,
your neighbor.

PS - Also, trash cans are kept inside your garage here, not on the side of your house next to my stairs.

my prom date: the chauffeur

My main squeeze went to prom last weekend as a chauffeur for one of the young men in our ward. He had a blast! And our car is spotless now, too; what a treat for an Alaskan driver!

While Mark was driving, he had a Harry Connick, Jr. concert playing on the DVD screen, and then he had a bucket of ice with some [non-alcoholic] bubbly and two glasses. Then, at the end of the night, he even helped the kid out by having a single long-stem rose ready for the door step. So much fun! Mark is great at following through with simple requests and turning them into something unexpected. What a romantic.

That's my man!

shake shake shake

In less than an hour I will be learning how to do THIS:

AH! How exciting!!

I have a Hula work-out DVD set that is called "Hula Abs and Buns" but that's not what I'm doing tonight. Tonight... I have a teacher. Our teacher, is a "wholynesian" as her family says (white girl + polynesian spirit is how I interpret it), who danced at the Polynesian Cultural Center. 

My roommates did use to say that my hips had a mind of their own at dances. I guess I was born to SHAKE IT. :)  ... we'll see if that still rings true tonight.

Update: it was SO fun. I knew it would be; how could it not with the girls in my ward?! Also, it was fun trying to keep up. Nelli would beat on her 'drum' and would say, "Koholo" or "Huli" or "Lele" or "Hela" or ... other things and it would be a quiz every time to see if we could remember what they all were! But the beat, and the swaying and the palm trees (haaaa) were all so beautiful. Maybe I can be like Nelli when we're all done; make it look as natural as breathing!

Now it's time to practice my "vocab words" for the week.

On a side note: her mother is my ever-famous quilting/sewing coach - I say coach because that's truly what she is, slash cheerleader. What a cool family! 

mug shot

While we were in Utah in February, Stacey (Mark's mom) had a couple extra photo sessions at a local studio called Fotogenix, so we took one! Thanks, Stacey! They turned out better than we had even expected with this little stud. He just wanted to stare at stuff rather than smile; but we still got a little one:

(sorry, picture of a picture)

My cute little drooler!!!

glitz

for some birthdays:

above for Tory

below for Tessa

Don't you love some shine?

secret:
for mom... can't show you yet!

cookie boy

Mark's younger brother (though, still older than me), Michael, was dubbed "Cookie Boy" when he was young, and he still does the routine that inspired the title. Every time Michael is handed a cookie, he stares at it intensely before taking the first bite. I witnessed it the last time we were all together as a family; everyone else was just used to it after all these years, but I was highly entertained. He was eating Oreos (as you may remember... Mont is also a fan), and would just look over every cookie before dunking/eating it. I had to call him out on it, and it had us all laughing.

Well it must have been passed through to our little boy because Mont sees a cookie and he stares... then LUNGES! While Mark's mom and sister were here, we made Stacey's family-famous Nilla wafer chocolate pudding (golly, that stuff is good). While Stacey and Molly were playing hostesses rather than guests, I was holding Mont while eating a few Nilla wafers while they cooked... I was not expecting my child to lunge at my cookie (he actually missed the cookie and commenced sucking on my thumb's knuckle as hard as he could). Apparently, the girls had slipped Mont a cookie before hand; he was hooked!!

Cookie boy. HA!

moose!

Isn't 'moose' one of the funnier words to look at? I know we all have our own lists of weird words, but goodness! I only just said it 4 times just now and it already feels weird on my mouth.

Two mornings ago, on Easter morn, we had two unexpected guests come to visit Stacey and Molly before they jet-set back to Utah:

moose 1:

moose 2:

They were only about 40 feet away from us, and if I had stood next to them, I think my head would've been mid-shoulder height and I'm 5'8"!

Los huge-os moose-os.

he's back

He's had a good last few days. Nighttime stair work-outs are just fine if this is what I get during the day. What a fun, happy, and sweet little boy. I love him to pieces!

*He now does a 'nose-crinkle' smile on occasion. We don't know where he learned it, but it's so funny.

cheese for you; cheese for me.

sleep cycle... conclusion

I'm not quite sure where to start explaining what's been going on since beginning this routine nearly a week ago. 


Mont IS sleeping more soundly at night for longer... but only until about 4:30 or 5:00 am. A couple of nights last week I let him cry for about 35-40 minutes and he fell asleep until 7, the second night being easier. But then the third night he woke up at the same time and when I would pray, asking him be able to calm down, I got the prompting, "You have to help him this time." So, I did... not sure what I would find. He had wedged his head into the corner, even with the little bumper there, I'm sure it was uncomfortable, and he was crying really hard. When I picked him up to move him back to the middle of the crib, I noticed the two pacifiers were under his head on either side, probably poking him relentlessly with their hard plastic. I felt awful... 


Since then, I have been listening to his cries more carefully, trying to decide what is the problem. Sunday morning I let him cry for an hour and a half, until it was 6:00, then I went downstairs to feed him. I knew he had a dirty diaper since about 10:00 the night before, so after scooping my tearful baby up, I put him on the changing table and started to change him. As soon as he realizes I'm not feeding him right away he wails and screams.. I feel awful, but I was hoping that if he was changed, he'd fall right asleep as I was nursing him. Oh, he was crying so hard.. It was a trick getting him to fall back to sleep, and he even woke up crying after he DID fall asleep. I must have really hurt his feelings.. I felt so bad.


Well Sunday goes on, and I find out Mark is coming home that night, so I do a quick vacuum before church. While vacuuming I put Mont in his swing chair (it's 2 pieces) and put it in the kitchen so he is out of the way of the vacuum. While vacuuming around the kitchen table, I am out of sight, and I then hear his crying. When I look at him his face is red, and tears are running down his face! He must have been crying for a good few minutes before I realized it - was he afraid of the vacuum? Did he think the vacuum was eating his mother?! no.. I know, but I'm trying to understand why he is crying so hard. Since, I can't put him after that down without him welling up with tears and a red, extremely sad face. 


Church goes very well, and he laughs and plays with Jodi, then falls asleep on my lap in the second hour, and sits on my lap for the third. 


After church.. I can't put him down, I can't even turn my back; I can't let let him alone for any amount of time without him feeling abandoned and crying.


My conclusion: I RUINED MY SWEET BOY!


That night, Mark gets home and sees the 'damage' I caused the next morning when he sees how easily Mont starts to cry with anything; he notices something is amiss as well. I later call my mom for comfort after Mark leaves for the last leg of his trip, and I try to have a better day. I do. Monday- last night, ends well. Lots of laughing, and playing, but still not as much as normal. 


Yesterday I decided that if he wants to eat at 4:00 am, I'll feed him at 4:00 am!!!!! I don't care if I am getting up at this hour if if makes him feel like I'm not abandoning him! I've had enough of hurting his feelings. If I feed him then, he will go right back to sleep, so I am able to go right back to sleep; it's not awful in the least bit.


good outcomes: 
: he sleeps more soundly until 4:00 or 5:00 ish
: even if he wakes up he jabbers or even cries for a few minutes, then he falls to sleep again without me needing to go in and give him his pacifier.
: he'll fall right back to sleep after that feeding (last two nights) like normal, and will sleep until 8:00, then wake up happily.
: I get 5 or 6 hours uninterrupted sleep - YES! That was my goal.


SO! I achieved my goal, but in the process, I learned what works for Mont and what doesn't. I really don't mind getting up to feed him early in the morning, especially since this is now the only time I have to go down. Running up and down those stairs 9 to 11 times a night was what was killing me; not the once a night feedings. I am so happy about this. But I am sad that now Mont has separation issues all of the sudden. That's what kills me... knowing I did have a hand in that. So the last couple of days, I am careful with how our days go. I want to get back to what it was with how happy he was all the time, even when I wasn't in sight. That just breaks my heart.. I want him to trust me again!


Yesterday was better than Sunday, and so far, today is better than yesterday. Hopefully, he'll be back to his normal, happy self by the weekend. Oh, how I hope!

my family in words

luck

Bad or good, you decide, Mark is here right now:

*Mark's iphone

These are the Shangri La twin towers, Malaysia.

St Paddy's

Peace.

Today was a good day. Lots of laughing (can we get a big "whew! he still loves me!"), and surprisingly, lots of eating on Mont's part: squash and pears together cold (tastes sweet like a popsicle), and sweet potatoes and bananas (together again, room temp). I found that if I hold him while I prepare it, and let him "taste try" it on my fork, he is much more willing to try it if he thinks it's for me. Then he finds he likes it! Also, he likes milk straight out of the fridge (not cow's milk, still mine - but it must be refreshing? huh.) Playing with the temperature of foods has been fun for him too; he'll like something cold but not warm, and other way around on others.

Anyway - Our St. Patrick's day consisted of green frosted sugar cookies, green pajamas, and sewing. I finished my Christmas quilt top (woohoo!).

Mark's frosting is the best!

Happy hoppin' to ya

I love Mont's pajamas!

that was rough

It's 9:58 pm and Mont is quiet again. I think he only cried for 40 minutes, but it felt like 4 hours.

This morning I woke up to beautiful sunshine, and even though I had energy from the hope and excitement of a new day, my eyes were still stinging from a restless night's sleep.

My sweet little boy with a charming crooked smile has me soothing him every hour and a half to two and a half hours at night these days nights. Two nights ago he woke up only once at 2, then again at 7:30. So I know he's capable of at least once-a-night-feeding. But even on that night he woke up twice for his pacifier.

So today I made the decision.. while watching Man vs. Wild, where he said, "Make all your decisions while you're cognitive and able to think it through, before you're drained and have nothing left to fight." (aka during the day in my case)

My visiting teachers came over, one is a mother of 6 angelic boys (seriously, they are all Heaven sent!), and the other is a lactation consultant and the mother of an angelic little girl. I turned to them for support today, and told them about my strong, brave mom who put up with me until I finally slept through the night  at 3.5 yrs old! My little baby sister slept through the night before me. "It runs in the genes!" is what Stacey said. ha! nooooooo!!

If I do this, one thing that keeps crossing my mind is, "Will I ruin our happy little boy? Will he not trust me after this?" He knows I love him, he has to, right?! I know the argument that if he gets more sleep, he'll be happier.. is it possible that he could be even happier? I've never seen a baby that cries as little as he does (well.. before half an hour ago). If he is sad, or reluctant to smile at me tomorrow, I may feel like an awful mother. But even so, I'll have to stay strong until this pans out, won't I?

Mark and I thought of our friends in Texas, the Andersons, who told us that with their children, at 4 mo. of age, they let them cry it out for as many nights as it takes (no more than 3, I remember them saying), going in at 15 minute intervals to tell them "You're okay, I'm here."

Tonight I was thinking about doing it, until he would almost calm down, but then roar up again. A friend said the same thing, so I thought, "why not?" I went in there, and as soon as he heard my voice.. ROAR!! He went nuts! As I heard his throat go coarse with his hard cries, my throat tightened right up. I hunted for his pacifier that sometimes nestles itself under his chin or shoulder and wakes him up. It was under his left arm, so I put it aside, patted him on his tummy, stroked his cheek while saying, "You're okay.. calm down, you're alright, Mont."

I had to leave.. he wasn't getting any more calm with me there. I fought so hard to keep him in his crib. I conquered my body's need to hold him, to put my face to his. I will make up for that tomorrow.

He is quiet now. It has now been 25 minutes. Oh, how I hope tonight goes quickly.

*iphone pic from Jan.

white flag of surrender

The day after my previous post, I continued my diligent attempt at fooling him into trying food. Lots of squirms and one spill on the carpet later, I decided to listen to some advice:

Don't worry.

Babies can eat what you eat.. right? I know not honey, eggs, or shellfish.. but they are little humans, after all. So I am still going to prepare him food, but only to try, and if he likes it, then SUCCESS! If not, I'll try again another time. : ) I like this whole not worrying thing.

Now on to tackle our night of sleep.. I get maybe 2 hours of straight sleep every night. He wakes up so often and fusses for his pacifier, and wakes up twice a night to eat. He used to do better than that! If he were a bit chubbier, I wouldn't feel so guilty about letting him fuss for so long.. it's so sad! I feel like a momma penguin or something: my baby's cry really tugs the heart strings.

I wish this little cutie had come with an instruction manual. ha!

food woes

I make Mont's baby food... I do! So far he's only had bananas, sweet potatoes, and rice cereal. But today I was trying all sorts of mixes. I have this yellow squash (above) in the freezer, along side pears ready to spring into action.

Since he got his first stomach flu bug earlier this week (thankfully he's all better!), he has given up solid foods cold turkey style (hey.. maybe he'd like that):

Here is he denying rice cereal (even had apple sauce in it!). Soooooo... I brought out the big guns:

And he takes a few bites, till I trick him with a punch of rice cereal:

Then he zips his mouth shut... and won't even let the good stuff in again.

Then we try again later in the day...

but it's a fail. ...  improvised bib still gets a good splashing.

So I try later in the day. ... and finally, with Mark dancing and doing other goofy things to smile, distract, and humor, Mont finally opens up enough for bananas and sweet potatoes (an old acquaintance). By the way, the only way he'll eat sweet potatoes is if the bananas are mixed with them to hide the flavor - or lack thereof? I think they taste just fine!

I'm up for ALL your suggestions. Please and thank you!

auction item

Tomorrow is my ward's Service Auction. Have you had one of these? No? If not, you should!

Thinking of something I could auction off, a friend suggested some jewelry. I haven't beaded since before Mont was born. But I didn't want to do just anything. There is a necklace I have had a screen shot of for a while now on my desktop. Here's the picture of what I wanted to do:

and from the side:

And here is mine:

It's a bit different but the idea is the same, plus I included earrings. I tried it on, and I really, really like it!

Oh it's nice to have beaded something after such a long little while; Mont got sick (ah! scary) while I was beading, so I bought a few tools and took off to my home to nurse him back to health with hopes of finishing this at home. He is feeling better and as you can see, I was able to finish the jewelry!

Do I hear one dolla, two dollas, five dollas to the woman in back!